Comedian Jokes About Indian Heritage, Sideburns and a Portuguese Audience

Is your dad Indian or your mom?

Um, don't talk to me like that.

No, I'm kidding. My mom.

I accept.

Why's that?

Because white guys like Indian women?

Yeah, that's actually true.

One time, um,

I was getting bullied at school

by this girl. Her name was

****

And she was giving everyone makeovers.

She was like, oh, Bridgette

should wear more tank tops because she has nice shoulders.

And she was like, Katie should get blonde highlights

because it would look good on her. And Maddie should get rid of

her sideburns.

And I went, I have sideburns?

And she said, don't worry about it. You just have them because you're

Indian. I know.

****

And I went home and I told my dad and I was like, Dad,

do I have sideburns? And he said, I love them.

They make you look androgynous.

And then I realized my dad is the kind of white guy

who loves Indian women.

Not going to be helpful.

Is everyone looking to see if I have sideburns now?

Do I?

You're racist.

I can have them if I want. What's what?

What's sideburn?

So, you...

Firstly,

you're gorgeous. I've been looking at you all night.

You're extremely well lit. I wish the Nepalese

guys were as well lit as you.

We could have gotten to the bottom of that way quicker.

And is this the first thing...

English is not your first language?

Language is not your

first language, right. And that was the first thing you

haven't understood and you asked for sort of closed

captioning.

I will tell you, sideburns

are a men's

facial hair.

Okay, thank you.

What's your name?

Teresa, where are you from?

Portugal. And you look

significantly more Indian than I do.

Yeah.

Awesome. Well,

did you come

with anyone to the show?

Right. And you guys are all

from Portugal? And did you guys know

what sideburns were?

Okay.

But you've understood

everything else I've said.

Interesting.

Do they don't have sideburns in Portugal?

I'm not

well traveled, you know.

Are you from Portugal?

Yeah. You have a beard.

So what do you call the hair that's right here?

Okay.

We're kind of getting to the

bottom of this.