Why Winning an Argument Can Hurt Your Relationship

You cannot win an argument with your husband, and he can't win an ar- a husband can't win an argument with his wife, not unless he wants to defeat her, in which case- He defeats himself ... well, he lives with a defeated woman.

Like, well, seriously. I thought he was gonna go so deep with it.

He just- Well, what, what good is that going to be?

That's not helpful. Like- And you guys are one, so y- if you defeat her, you defeat yourself.

Well, not least because now you're living with someone who's defeated and bitter.

Mm. It's not helpful. You can't win an argument.

What you have to do... You can't, you can't stomp around and insist that you were right.

Look, this happens to couples all the time.

So imagine that one person in the couple is better at verbal disputes than the other.

That doesn't mean they're smarter, and it doesn't mean that they're more correct.

I just said this. Yeah. You're just good at your skill of talking. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Now, so one of the things you wanna do...

So imagine in a relationship that... So what do you wanna do about that? If you happen to be the person who's better at making verbal arguments, well, one of the things you wanna do is, if your wife has a problem with you,

you wanna help her make her argument just on the off chance that she's got something to say because maybe she's right. Mm. Mm-hmm. You know?

And it's gonna be in her interest to straighten you out if she has any sense, and it would be in your interest to listen.

Mm-hmm. And so that's part of giving the devil...

That's part of loving your enemy. That's part of giving the devil his due.

It's like you wanna find out. You wanna find out, so you don't have to bring the trouble forward.