Why Betrayal in Close Relationships Shatters Your Sense of Self

If you betray me, then I have to see you differently.

And you know, if we've interacted a long time, I've built up a hell of a model of you.

You know, it's taken a tremendous amount of effort to generate,

and I may have used that model as a predicate for all sorts of other plans,

which is what you do with an intimate relationship.

And so then, if you do something that indicates a true mismatch,

it isn't only that I have to adjust my actions.

God only knows what I'm going to have to retool.

I may even have to retool my perceptions of myself.

I'm a lot more gullible than I thought I was, for example.

And God only knows what the implications of that are.

If you're close to me, and you could do this to me, is that my flaw?

And am I carrying that into other relationships?

It's an absolute catastrophe.