Satirical Speech on COVID Vaccine Claims and Anthony Fauci

Thank you very much. Thank you for those kind words, uh, Mark Wayne.

Thank you to Jim O'Neill, to Tom Joznik, to Marty McCary, and to Wendy as well.

Thank you for that, for sharing your story.

Uh, it's with a heavy heart that I'm announcing that the conspiracy theorists were right again.

COVID mRNA vaccines caused a litany of injuries, including, including but not limited to turbo cancer, heart failure, extreme blood clotting, and perhaps gayness.

Um, that's a chicken and egg problem that we're still, um, we're still investigating.

The implications are substantial, and there's no easy way to say this.

Anthony Fauci is a goblin. And if you weren't gay prior to taking the vaccine, there's a massive chance that your sudden desire to binge the Bravo channel and watch Tim Walz rallies isn't an accident.