Coffee With Cream and Sugar vs. Black Coffee
3 min Comedy
3 min Comedy
John Dave Irving sent 100 dollars. "Sub. Another hundo to find out what's going on in that coffee cup."
Thank you for the big super chat, John Dave Irving.
Another 100 to find out what's going on in the cup.
Wow. So what's it at now? The pot is up to 125 to figure out what's in the cup?
Well, this is water. This is water. You know, for 125, this is, uh, this is a medium roast Starbucks with three sugars and three cream.
But I just pour cream and sh-- I don't even know how much, but it's probably about three cream, three sugar.
I like a lot of cream and a lot of sugar. I'm a baby, I like it.
I'm not one of these, "Just a black coffee for me.
Just a black coffee and some bullets for me."
Yeah. "I watch Matt Walsh. Just a black coffee for me.
No, no, none of that gay pussy shit like sugar and cream.
Just a black coffee and some... Crush up some cigarettes in there, will you?
Could you ash your cigarette in my black coffee and take a piss in it too?
None of, no, no frills over here. None of that sugar and cream, like some kind of sissy, woke, tranny Democrat."
Yeah, I want thr-- I want, I want so much cream in it, I want it to be a milkshake.
I want it to taste like a coffee milkshake.
Okay? I want a lot of cream and a lot of sugar, and I want it to be sweet.
I want it to be sweet and delicious. Why wouldn't you?
Why wouldn't you want it to taste good? Black coffee...
People are so, such assholes these days.
"Black coffee? Fuck you." "No, no, no frills for me." Fuck you.
People are such assholes today. Why would you ever drink black coffee? Like, what's the point? It's bitter.
It doesn't taste good. Tastes like dishwater.
Yeah, just a black coffee for me.
Hey, everyone. Attention restaurant goers.
Someone hit the lunk alarm. Attention restaurant goers.
Attention diners. This certified badass is drinking his coffee black with no cream or anything.
Everyone make sure to shake his hand on the way out.
Like, what do you want, a medal? What do you want, a trophy?
I'll take my coffee black. You know, and you know the waiter's just like...
You know, the waitress is overwhelmed with lust.
"Oh, he wanted it, then he ordered the coffee black.
I think I'm in love." Dude, it's your coffee.
You're drinking coffee. It's just a drink.
So, yeah, I like a lot of cream, a lot of sugar.
If you like it black, hey, fine. I think you're lying.
If you like it black, I think you're lying.
I don't think anyone prefers it. I think everyone prefers coffee with cream and sugar.
But I think people drink it black maybe for calories, which it's like fine, or they're drinking it black because they want to seem really cool.
I don't think anyone drinks it black because it tastes good and they prefer it.
End of transcript · 525 words
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