Harry Potter and Tracy Prepare for Lunch with Her Parents

Come to the door, Potter. They changed the password.

Hmm.

Good morning, Potter. You're looking terrible.

It's a beautiful Sunday. I wanna go on a hike.

What? No, no, no, baby, please, I can't.

My head is killing me. I was out with Dumbledore last night, and that guy kept ordering shots.

I know, you idiot. I'm just messing with you.

I brought you coffee.

Oh my God, you're the best. I know.

Drink up. I wanna talk to you about something, but first I wanna make out in your bed.

Oh, hell yeah.

Well, babe, here's the thing I wanted to talk to you about.

My parents have invited us to have lunch with them next Saturday.

What? Tracy, are you sure that's a good idea?

It's not my idea, Potter. It's my mother's.

She's never officially met you, and, well, she thinks it's time.

But what about your dad? I mean, doesn't he hate me, you know, for killing Voldemort and for kind of freeing Dobby?

Well, actually, Dad is relieved that You-Know-Who is gone.

And as for Dobby, well, it's a long story, but what you did ended up improving Father's relationship with Dumbledore, so it's not all bad.

What? Well, I don't know all the details, but they would organize these hangouts, just them plus Dobby, and Father always seemed to have a great time.

Hmm, Dumbledore has been a wreck ever since Dobby left.

You should have seen him last night. He- Well, maybe he should have thought of that before torturing all those other elves on the side. But screw that.

We were talking about the lunch. So we're really doing this?

Lunch with the parents, I mean, that's a big step.

Excuse me? Relax, babe. I'm just saying it's always a tricky situation.

Always. How many other girls' parents have you met before, you jerk?

Nobody else but you, my little peacock. God, I love it when you get jealous.

As if I'd be jealous of you, you stupid four-eyes.

Don't worry, it's just Ron's blind owl.

Honestly, I just don't wanna do something that would screw this up.

Well, we're gonna prep you. First off, we'll go shopping.

You'll need to dress to impress. And then I have to teach you proper table manners.

Stop it. I'm serious. You'll need a lot of prep time.